未曾老去，不再年轻

倪匡也走了……

伴了我几十年的传奇，无声的跌坠星河背后。

我的生命中，永远有着卫斯理。

怎么知道自己不再年轻了呢？当自己青春岁月里的那些人与事，一个个从回忆变成只待追忆。

最近在飞机上看《梅艳芳》，我甚至不是张国荣梅艳芳的歌迷，张国荣万人空巷的葬礼叫我莫名悲伤，在漆黑机舱内抽泣、哭肿了眼，久久不能平复。可能是忆起一代巨星的陨落，可能是为了不复返的时光……

那些看似生命中渡潭之雁，其实都编制着与我们似有若无的牵连。

倪匡也走了。我深信自己未曾老去，只是不再年轻……

科幻和哲学

最近迷上“老高与小茉”和“脱口秀大会”。（关于脱口秀大会，我改天写一篇再说说。）

这“老高与小茉”的YouTube Channel是薇介绍给我的，她说：“老高常说一些我很小的时候你给我说的事儿，那些我小时候没听懂的故事……”。薇开始时发了Spotify的link来，但我因为忙，没有机会好好认真的听。后来她又发了个YouTube video的link来，我正好有点空余时间，看了，就爱上了。

当年，爸爸因工作从槟城搬到怡保，我们从住在热闹的大家庭搬到个近乎举目无亲的环境。那首几年，感觉特别孤单（妹妹要等我差不多读完一年级了才出世），书籍也因而成了我最好的朋友。我们虽是小康之家，但妈妈在于买书订杂志给孩子这事儿上非常慷慨。（我们小时候资讯有限，别说没有互联网，即使是电视台、电台也就那么几个台 -- 也因此我可是非常热衷于用sw收听外国电台的。不看书的话，也实在没有太多其他选择）。开始时是以故事书为主，可是小孩子的故事，来来去去那几种变化，我很快就厌了，开始收集非小说故事类的书籍，就是自那时候开始看了很多如The Bermuda Triangle、Atlantis等的传说，学了一堆什么第四度空间、Schrödinger's Cat等词汇，又迷上了天文地理历史等。有阵子妈妈订阅读者文摘，偶尔也会看上了读者文摘的广告而买了一些精美的画册书籍。什么《十万个为什么》、《中国神话故事精选》、《历史悬案》等。在认识“卫斯理”之前，我已经是非常天马行空，脑洞大开的人了。

接着，我又疯狂的迷上科幻小说和电影。好的科幻，必定会丢一堆好的哲学问题。我就是在成长路上受到这些科幻小说丢出的问题影响，自问自答，和自己辩论，然后成了无宗教信仰但相信有“神”的这么一个人。

年纪再大一些，我绝对崇拜物理学家。总觉得他们都是最接近真理的人类。Einstein、Hawking、Feynman等无不是天真烂漫调皮有趣的灵魂。你想想，所有的物理理论，全始于科学幻想，爱因斯坦不就是靠想象写了相对论吗？而所有的物理理论，再深究下去，必定要碰及哲学思考。

而老高这频道，题材五花八门，人文社会、自然科学、未解之谜、世界趣闻轶事、悬案、都市传说、阴谋论等各种故事与传说。他每星期上载一个十多二十分钟的影片，天马行空，非常精彩。在过去的两个星期内，我一口气看了他过去几年的影片，喜欢得很。以后再忙，也可以每星期看一段十多二十分钟的影片，然后好好思考。

好多人说老高好多内容都不对，但我觉得，在天桥底听说书的讲故事，首先说书的必须把故事说得有条有序，再来故事必须精彩绝伦，听完故事的人意犹未尽，回味无穷，引发了无穷的想象与思考，回家再去查查看他所说的，再开阔视野（连看书都得“尽信书不如无书”，更何况是天桥底听故事）。而小茉更是扮演了天桥下听书者的角色，时而打岔，时而发问，时而调侃，有趣得很。 

据说老高以前每晚必须给小茉讲睡前故事，为了每晚的故事，每天都要收集各种有趣的奇闻异事，久而久之收集许多资料，最后干脆将收集的资料做成谈话型视频频道。大家有空可以到他们的channel去看看。

这儿先分享一个绝对会让你以豁达的心情面对生老病死的影片：

《读诗十二法》

诗歌最好玩之处，在于读者和作者都永远不会有一致的诠释。因为你的心情不同，因为你的际遇有别，因为你的心境不一，每个人每一次读同一首诗，都会有不同的读法。

而这，洛夫给你十二种读法。

《读诗十二法》

～洛夫

如果我用血写诗
请读我以冰镇过的月光

如果我用火写诗
请读我以解冻后的泪水

如果我用春天写诗
请读我以最后的一瓣落花

如果我用冰雪写诗
请读我以室内的灯火

如果我用浓雾写诗
请读我以满山的清风明月

如果我用泥土写诗
请读我以童年浅浅的脚印

如果我用龟裂的大地写诗
请读我以丰沛的雨水

如果我用岩石写诗
请读我以一条河的走姿

如果我用天空写诗
请读我以一只鹰隼的飞旋

如果我用邪恶写诗
请读我以一把淬毒的刀子

如果我用爱意写诗
请读我以同一频率的心跳

断章

2018年，摄于The Swan Hotel, Gloucestershire

《断章》

～卞之琳～

你站在桥上看风景，
看风景的人在楼上看你。
明月装饰了你的窗子，
你装饰了别人的梦。

这首卞之琳的短诗一直是我所爱。再简单浅白不过的四句，写一刹那的意境，却也写了一种“一切都是相对，又一切都是关联”的道理。像水墨画一样，淡淡几句，读诗的人自己想象出流水、游船、岸柳、古楼……也又悟出一粒沙里一个世界，一朵花里一个天堂。

郑愁予的《错误》

那些年，在为赋新词强说愁的年代，我写的那些诗，我都忘了，但我记得很清楚，我曾经把“我不是归人，是个过客”，改成“我是归人，不是过客”，放进我的惆怅里……

《错误》- 郑愁予

我打江南走过

那等在季节里的容颜如莲花的开落

东风不来，三月的柳絮不飞

你底心如小小寂寞的城

恰若青石的街道向晚

蛰音不响，三月的春帷不揭

你底心是小小的窗扉紧掩

我达达的马蹄是美丽的错误

我不是归人，是个过客……

试译《Delight in Disorder》

"Delight in Disorder" by Robert Herrick

A sweet disorder in the dress

Kindles in clothes, a wantonness

A lawn about the shoulders' thrown

Into a fine distraction

An erring lace, which here and there

Enthralls the crimson stomacher

A cuff neglectful, and thereby

Ribbons to flow confusedly

A winning wave, deserving note

In the tempestuous petticoat

A careless shoestring, in whose tie

I see a wild civility

More bewitch me than when art

Is too precise in every part

我向来也喜欢无序无章的随意，有人从Delight In Disorder读到丝丝性感，我却从这诗歌里找到自由随性的乐趣。这，我也来尝试翻译吧~

《无章之趣》

甜美，在花裙上皱褶间

恣意奔放

任意垂挂肩上的细麻

让人心猿意马

看那纷飞的蕾丝绣绦

迷惑着纁红胸兜

还有那被忽略的袖口

飘逸得稀里糊涂的丝带缎绸

一波波晃动，我留神于

热情荡漾的衬裙

随意系着的鞋带，松漫

诠释了野性文雅

比之拘泥严谨

不羁无章，更叫我心醉

If

印象中，Sir Michael Caine 是父辈们非常喜爱的演员，在那个年代，我比较有印象的应该是The Italian Job和Alfie。后来，自Batman Begins开始，他在Christopher Nolan的每一套电影出现，也成了年轻一辈相当熟悉的演员了。我向来喜欢他，一是因为他是个好演员，二则是因为他那特别好听的口音。

今年，在我们部门的年度计划会议上，我还特地找了他朗诵的《 If 》作为我们会议结束时的一个总结与鼓励。

If— 
BY RUDYARD KIPLING

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

试译《Invictus》

INVICTUS
By William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
      I am the captain of my soul.

读了上海翻译家协会黄杲炘翻译的《不屈不挠》，我也想来班门弄斧一下：

黑夜沉沉层层把我笼罩

漆黑如穿梭两极的通道

我该感谢哪位神灵恩赐

让我永不妥协不屈不挠

生命里重重困境如鹰爪

我即不畏缩也绝不哀嚎

面对厄运连连狂殴猛揍

我血流满面却绝不折腰

不止是眼前的悲恸哀伤

远处阴影下编织着死亡

而岁月的淫威放肆猖狂

屡试屡探我不畏惧胆寒

不管那永生之门多狭窄

无论天书怎把刑罚满载

我是我自己命运的主宰

我是我自己灵魂的统帅

对一张琴，一壶酒，一溪云

苏轼是中国几千年来最可爱的一号人物。苏东坡的豁达逍遥，在他的诗词当中，总是轻易一览而见。

最近从读《行香子·述怀》。名利都如浮云变幻无常，人生如梦境短暂。理他呢！人生依旧是：对一张琴，一壶酒，一溪云……

行香子·述怀

清夜无尘，月色如银。

酒斟时、须满十分。

浮名浮利，虚苦劳神。

叹隙中驹，石中火，梦中身。

虽抱文章，开口谁亲。

且陶陶、乐尽天真。

几时归去，作个闲人。

对一张琴，一壶酒，一溪云。

• 
  

试译《And The Days Are Not Full Enough》

And the days are not full enough

And the nights are not full enough

And life slips by like a field mouse

Not shaking the grass.

~Ezra Pound~

这诗，太美了，我不自量力，想要翻译。

而白昼不够充实

而黑夜不够完满

而生命如田鼠溜逝

寸草不颤

Love After Love

这是首叫人读了泪流的诗歌。

 
LOVE AFTER LOVE
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

从新迷上诗歌

过去几个星期，也不知怎的，问题特别多，日子过得特忙的。当工作上的某一件事终于告第一个段落时，我跟恩说：“帮我找Loki连续剧，我需要一些不用用脑的娱乐”。于是，在剧终前的那个周末，我们俩一口气看了五集。

看了Loki，自然而然就会在网上看些memes啊，讨论啊等等的。也不知怎的YouTube竟然介绍起“30 minutes of poetry with Tom Hiddleston”。一听，喜欢呢！

而几天后，当我们终于看了我期待万分的Loki Finale，老实说，我可失望了。我跟薇说：“listening to Tom Hiddleston reading poems is more exciting than the finale” 

也不知怎的，就把对Loki Finale的不满，化为到YouTube上找艺人朗诵诗歌的动力。就这样子，生活不再只是眼前的苟且，我还找回当年对诗歌的那种莫名情意结。

不只是乡愁

我疯狂的爱着诗歌的年代，正是我年少强说愁的年代。余光中和席慕容的情诗，以最简单的方式，驻进我心底。

余光中的诗歌，当然不只是《乡愁》（余光中诗选）。我最爱的，包括那首深情的风铃，永远的在心底清脆地晃动。

《风铃》 ~余光中
我的心是七层塔檐上悬挂的风铃
叮咛叮咛咛
此起彼落 敲叩著一个人的名字
————你的塔上也感到微震吗？
这是寂静的脉搏 日夜不停
你听见了吗 叮咛叮咛咛？
这恼人的音调禁不胜禁
除非叫所有的风都改道
铃都摘掉 塔都推倒

只因我的心是高高低低的风铃
叮咛叮咛咛
此起彼落
敲叩著一个人的名字

余光中走了

2017年12月14日，余光中教授于台湾逝世，享年89岁。

没想到，隔了七个月终于再拜访自己的部落，为的，就是余光中。如果不是无意间在Facebook上看见朋友写一段“忆余光中”，我也没发觉我爱的诗人离开了……

我认识余光中，从罗大佑开始。“乡愁四韵”里，罗大佑用最平静的曲调，余光中用最浅白的汉字，叫我血液里的黄河咆哮（余光中曾写道：我的血系中有一条黄河的支流）。然后，我就爱上了余光中。（爱上罗大佑，是更早的事了）

《乡愁四韵》——余光中

给我一瓢长江水啊长江水

酒一样的长江水

醉酒的滋味

是乡愁的滋味

给我一瓢长江水啊长江水

给我一张海棠红啊海棠红

血一样的海棠红

沸血的烧痛

是乡愁的烧痛

给我一张海棠红啊海棠红

给我一片雪花白啊雪花白

信一样的雪花白

家信的等待

是乡愁的等待

给我一片雪花白啊雪花白

给我一朵腊梅香啊腊梅香

母亲一样的腊梅香

母亲的芬芳

是乡愁的芬芳

给我一朵腊梅香啊腊梅香

余光中的诗，当然不只是《乡愁》，可偏偏对于我来说，余光中的诗，就是乡愁。一种最纯朴、最真实、最直白，又带着丝丝无奈的乡愁。

《乡 愁》

小时候

乡愁是一枚小小的邮票

我在这头

母亲在那头

长大後

乡愁是一张窄窄的船票

我在这头

新娘在那头

後来啊

乡愁是一方矮矮的坟墓

我在外头

母亲在里头

而现在

乡愁是一湾浅浅的海峡

我在这头

大陆在那头

余光中老先生，谢谢您。一路走好。

泼墨画

究竟是泼墨了才有物象再有意象，还是有意象了再泼墨方成物象，还是先决定了物象再泼墨方勾出意象？无论如何，终成幅画，是不是？

最近一口气看了刘慈欣的地球往事三部曲*和好莱坞电影Arrival*，思绪有一点慌乱。都是泼墨画似的作品，看似迷蒙内敛，其实气势磅礴。泼洒在娟素上的水墨痕迹开初不成物象 ，随着渐渐成形勾出意象。然后，我知道我不知道。

你说，以我们的认知局限，在多维度空间里不小心一眼望穿时间长河，是一种怎么样的悲哀？
你说，若光锥之内是命运，在光锥之外存心或无意泼墨的，是一种怎么样的存在？

如果我不想谈哲学不想深究物理，只想介于知道与不知道之间，行不？
如果我不想知道真相，只想在当下规规矩矩做人老老实实做事，行不？


*注：
1. 刘慈欣的地球往事三部曲为《三体》、《三体II：黑暗森林》、《三体III：死神永生》
2. 上网查了一下才知道原来Arrival是改编自科幻短篇Story of Your Life，作家是美籍华裔姜峯楠，看来我又得到book depository进货了

过去心不可得，现在心不可得，未来心不可得……

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success is one of those books that's always at my bed side.

Of course, I am not qualified to explain The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success to anyone. I am far from mastering these laws. However, I'd like to share how these laws helped me to grow, guided me when I'm in doubt. (I always believe that 真理大同, we have read about these 'laws' from various books and sources but I like how Deepak Chopra makes them systematic, simple and easy to follow if you ever wish to practice.)

1) The Law of Pure Potentiality
The source of all creation is pure consciousness. We are, in our essential state, pure consciousness. When we discover our essential nature and know who we really are, we have the ability to fulfill any dreams we have.

The book mentioned about daily practice of silence, meditation and non-judgment. While all these practices are ways to access the field, at this stage, I benefited the most from practicing non-judgment.
I used to behave as if I am at the center of the universe. I dislike certain experiences, certain things about people, and a lot of things about myself. I got angry, frustrated, disappointed all the time. When I learn to accept, I noticed that most of the experiences are neither good nor bad, they’re just happening. I start to adopt a skeptical attitude about my own thoughts. (Our thoughts often lie to us, and we can feel empowered by choosing not to automatically believe them.)
Don't get me wrong. I am not a saint. I STILL judge a lot! However, as much as I can, as frequent as I can, I will consciously choose to practice non-judgement.


2) The Law of Giving and Receiving
The Universe operates through dynamic exchange. In our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives. The more you give, the more you will receive.

I learn that the gifts of caring, attention, affection, appreciation and love are some of the most precious gifts you can give to everyone you come into contact with. With this, we can begin the process of circulating joy and affluence in life.
I also learn to gratefully receive all the gifts that life has to offer me.


3) The Law of Karma (or Cause and Effect)
"Karma" is both action and the consequence of that action; it is cause and effect. (Just like Newton's Third Law of Motion, every action has an equal and opposite reaction).
If we want to create happiness in our lives, we must learn to sow the seeds of happiness. Therefore, karma implies the action of conscious choice-making. (A lot of us make choices unconsciously, and therefore we don't think they are choices--and yet, they are.) The book taught us that, whenever making a choice, one must ask two questions: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?”, then ask your own heart for guidance. If the choice feels comfortable, then plunge ahead with abandon. If the choice feels uncomfortable, one need to pause and see the consequences.

I used to argue about why do good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Having this paradigm, most of the time we may feel completely powerless to change our circumstances.
Now, I understand that's just my circle of concerns and I'd rather focus on my circle of influence (my choices). I love the fact that ultimately this law makes us accountable for our actions and for our own circumstances. Our life doesn't just "happen." Our life is carefully designed by ourselves, choices after choices.
If we want to create happiness in our lives, we must learn to sow the seeds of happiness. Simple.


4) The Law of Least Effort
This law is based on the fact that nature's intelligence functions with effortless ease and abandoned carefreeness. This is the principle of least action, of no resistance. This is, therefore, the principle of harmony and love. When we learn this lesson from nature, we easily fulfill our desires. Ultimately, you come to the state where you do nothing and accomplish everything. This means that there is just a faint idea, and then the manifestation of the idea comes about effortlessly. What is commonly called a "miracle" is actually an expression of the Law of Least Effort. Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates--and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth. 

I learn that I must commit to acceptance. The whole universe is as it should be. No point to struggle to go against the universe. However, this is not as passive as it sounds because I am responsible for my own situation after I accept the situations and circumstances as it should be. Oh, and most importantly, I no longer have the strong urge to persuade others to accept my point of view.


5) The Law of Intention and Desire
This law is based on the fact that energy and information exist everywhere in nature. The whole universe, in its essential nature, is the movement of energy and information. The only difference between you and a tree is the informational and energy content of your respective bodies. You can consciously change the energy and informational content of your own quantum mechanical body, and therefore influence the energy and informational content of your extended body--your environment, your world--and cause things to manifest in it. The quality of intention on the object of attention will orchestrate an infinity of space-time events to bring about the outcome intended, provided one follows the other spiritual laws of success. Intention lays the groundwork for the effortless, spontaneous, frictionless flow of pure potentiality. The only caution is that you use your intent for the benefit of mankind.

I love this law. I have a long list of all my desires (and not necessary material things), and I can let them stay in the womb of creation, waiting for the right time. Having my full attention in the present moment doesn't mean that my desires do not manifest the future.


6) The Law of Detachment
This law says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn't mean you give up the intention to create your desire. You give up your attachment to the result. Detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Self. 

This law free me from worries. When I practice this, I no longer rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I understand that uncertainty is an essential part of our life. I embrace surprises in life and step into the field of all possibilities. Suddenly, we have an infinity of choices. Fun, adventure, magic, and mystery are waiting at the next corner.


7) The Law of "Dharma" or Purpose in Life
The seventh spiritual law of success is the Law of Dharma. (Dharma is a Sanskrit word that means "purpose in life.") This law says that we have taken manifestation in physical form to fulfill a purpose. You have a unique talent and a unique way of expressing it. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world--and for every unique talent and unique expression of that talent, there are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with the creative expression of your talent, that is the spark that creates affluence. Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance. There are three components to the Law of Dharma. The first says that each of us is here to discover our true Self. The second component is to express our unique talents; the expression of that talent takes you into timeless awareness. The third component is service to humanity. When you combine the ability to express your unique talent with service to humanity, then you make full use of the Law of Dharma. 

This is the one that I'm lost. I do not know what are my unique talents. (I'm a master of none) The only thing I can do is to always ask “How can I serve?” and “How can I help?”

床头书

我的床头，常年至少有着七八本书。

总会有两三本中/英文各种题材的non-fiction，永远都有一两本的国学经典书籍（没法子，读来读去读不明，只好常年循环重读），偶尔会有本中/英文小说（我看小说总是废寝忘食的，所以不敢常年放小说在床头。三两天看完一本是平常事，牺牲肝胆排毒时间后当然得多多休息，所以我对于看小说这回事是有所控制的。）而南怀瑾的《金刚经说什么》和Deepak Chopra的The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success几乎永远都在床头。

有幸在生命中遇见转捩点，去年八月尾至今，我一方面享受着“悠然而来，悠然而往”的生活，一方面思考着下一步。在人到四十的惊慌失措面前，我还得学习笃定。

（我一生中幸运，我总是在对的时间遇上对的人、对的事、读了对的书籍。）这四个月来，撇开诗歌、小说、美食书籍、工具书、旅游书籍、以及一直都在的床头书，我有幸读了（以及重读了）以下几本，仿佛都为了安抚我而做准备。

• Eric Sinoway -- "Howard's Gift"
• Michael Gates Gill -- "How to Save Your Own Life"
• Daniel Kahneman -- "Thinking, Fast and Slow"
• 彭敏 -- 《被嘲笑过的梦想，总有一天会让你闪闪发光》
• Eric Schmidt & Jonathan Rosenberg -- "How Google Works"
• 菜根谭
• 庄子諵譁

安抚什么呢？因为生命中难得的转捩点，突然间宇宙给我捧上无限的可能，我在分岔路前乱了脚步。

我深知自己是名副其实的Master of None，《荀子·劝学》里头那只梧鼠就是我。（“梧鼠五技而穷，五技渭：能飞不能上屋，能缘不能穷木，能游不能渡谷，能穴不能掩身，能走不能先人。”）我甚至不能肯定，面前的那些机会是不是真的“机会”，或是继续让我仅仅能飞能缘能游能穴能走。

最后，我还是问了导师（The world's best athletes need coaches, and you don't?）。他笑，问我最近还在读The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success吗？还记得Law of Least Effort吗？我笑。也对，可能潜意识里我还有什么未完成的心愿而不自知吧。我决定面对自己，欣然接受了送上门来的责任。

我的床头书，从来就不只是床头书……

选一本书去旅行

每一次去旅行或公干，我总要带上一两本书。（可能你会问为什么不用e-book呢？其实我手机里e-book多得是，但我想念书香时怎办？）然而，我每次出门前收拾行李最头痛的不是衣物，而是选书。

考量实在太多：

太厚的不行，太薄的不行。太厚的重量叫我吃不消，太薄的旅程还没结束就完了。

太轻浅的不行，太沉重的也不行。太轻浅的没意思，太沉重扰乱心绪。

想带一本自己喜爱的重读，又觉得对不起一橱新书；要带一本不熟悉的作者的，又风险太大（不好看的话在旅途中没折）。

去中国又尽量不带中文书。那里书太便宜，走着逛着多买几本没问题，但看到自己千里迢迢带去的书在那儿卖得比我买的便宜还自找苦闷。

恼了好几天，终于在新书堆中选了这"How to Save Your Own Life"。

人到中年了，文艺青年扮不成了，新诗、散文、小说全撇一旁吧。

四十了还疑惑，就看这十五个小故事给我一些什么崭新的希望呗。

乔峰

我已经好久好久没看电视了，最近陪妈妈看“爸爸去哪儿3”，看见胡军，窃喜！

在金庸小说的一众男角当中，乔峰在我心目中的地位是非常崇高的。暂且把他的悲剧人生撇一旁，他一出场，有一股慑人的气魄，大气磅礴。他的豪迈、他的光明、他的勇气、他的威信，活脱脱是个完美的凛凛大汉。他是最有豪侠气概的丐帮帮主，同是使降龙十八掌，郭靖比他少一分凌人气势，七公比他多一分闲散疏狂；同是信奉“忠于国家民族”的道德规范，他比郭靖多了聪明智慧、多了细密心思，多了领袖权威。

原著说“这人身材甚是魁伟，三十来岁年纪，身穿灰色旧布袍，已微有破烂，浓眉大眼，高鼻阔口，一张四方的国字脸，颇有风霜之色，顾盼之际，极有威势”。在我的想象中，就是壮大魁梧、英气逼人的北方大汉。这样的风采魅力，论外表、论气概，在华裔演员圈子里实在罕见。

金庸笔下的人物个个角色鲜明，读者们融入小说的世界后都有具体的想象。演员们要么外表不符，外表符合的可能演技不行，演技行的可能气质不对。（你想想，连周润发这样的外表和演技，也驾驭不了令狐冲，那是神韵问题；许冠杰是有了令狐冲的豁达放浪形骸，可是这“老师兄”的演技实在不行）所以，从来，金庸迷们对于喜欢的小说被拍成电影、电视总是很关心，对于选角总有很多意见，我也不例外。

在所有演过金庸小说人物的演员当中，胡军是少数我一看人物造型就觉得“找对啦！就这个！”的。

康少年幼无知，不屑老爸“批了长头发，穿个烂浴巾”。改天读了《天龙八部》就知道自己老爸身材、外表、声音，全衬得起乔峰，还有那眉宇间的自然流露的霸气，绝对有乔峰应有的神韵。中央戏剧学院表演系的班长可不是盖的。男人不必俊，英姿飒爽即可。


哎哟，有冲动重读《天龙八部》了……

记得早先少年时

我孤陋寡闻，没听过木心。看了这一季中国好歌曲，被这首歌的意境折服，google了一下才知道有这么一个高人。是时候积极把他的诗集、画册找一找了。

《从前慢》 ～木心～

 记得早先少年时
大家诚诚恳恳
说一句 是一句
　　
清早上火车站
长街黑暗无行人
卖豆浆的小店冒着热气
　　
从前的日色变得慢
车，马，邮件都慢
一生只够爱一个人
　　
从前的锁也好看
钥匙精美有样子
你锁了 人家就懂了 

这是写得不能再白的新诗，竟然比大多数电影的画面感更深刻真切，揪心度更简洁有力。

活过那段纯真岁月的人会深深陷入那个回不去的情绪、未经历那纯真年代的人只能羡慕却不能体会，简单的，慢慢的，认真的，生活。

那种在午后树荫下藤椅上茶色渐淡的生活。那种在雨夜屋檐下布床上笺纸成书的生活。

 
记得早先少年时……

而刘胡轶，诗已经叫人心折，曲又让人更满心温软。旋律淡雅如诗。

而那歌声，那是只属于安静角落的温暖，风轻云淡地，叫人记得早先少年时……

刘胡轶的其他作品：刘胡轶的豆瓣小站